


Cauterize This Feeling

by grimparadigms



Series: widojest week 2019 [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimparadigms/pseuds/grimparadigms
Summary: Caleb gets pulled into an unfortunate prank war.





	Cauterize This Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 3: Kissing as a Distraction

“Caaaaaaleb?”

He jolts awake, cheeks already warming at the sound of Jester’s soft voice in his ear, her breath tickling his ear. She giggles at the edge of the bed, twirling the ends of her blue hair around her index finger. She looks suspiciously amused—more devious than usual, her eyes shining with a hidden agenda. 

“ _Scheiße_ ,” he runs a hand along his face. He hadn’t planned on falling asleep, going over his latest annotations and notes on the war. He hadn’t been sleeping well with all the chaos in Xhorhaus—suffering through insomnia almost every night. It should have surprised him that’d he would eventually fall asleep working. 

“You looked so cute with your face smashed in all those papers, Caleb.” She flashes him a toothy grin. “I almost didn’t disturb you.”

“But you did,” he notes, beginning to shuffle the papers on his bed into a neat pile, ignoring his own embarrassment of having passed out, and wiping away the stray drool on his chin. Her of all people had to catch him like this. She definitely wouldn’t let him live this down.

“Weeeelllll,” her finger twists a lock of hair, and she’s begun shuffling her feet. “I _maybe_ wanted your help with a little something.”

He moves the stack of papers to his nightstand, and sita toward the edge of the bed, his tired eyes watching her closely. He’s too tired to argue against her antics and she’s much too cute to say no too. “What can I help you with, Miss Lavorre?”

“The prank war, Caleb!” The excitement returns, her hands moving animatedly, “As you know, I’ve been winning—and that isn’t going to change—but I may need just a little help with this next one.”

Ah, he thinks. The infamous prank war that has begun between Nott and Jester; a war he had originally refused to partake in.

He knitted his brows. “You need me for a prank?”

“Not exactly. I need your magic.” She wiggles her brows, as if the word is some obscene innuendo. 

“I am not so sure I want to get involved between you and Nott—”

“Please, please, please!” She’s grabs his hands now, jutting out her lower lip because somehow this little tiefling knew exactly how to soften his heart enough to give in. 

“I…Alright.” She pulled her hands away and squealed, and he rubbed his own against his trousers, finally shifting off the bed to stand. “But this better not cause any bodily harm.”

She mock gasps. “Caleb! I would never hurt Nott!”

He’s not entirely sure he buys it, but he follows her anyways.

The prank war between Nott and Jester had started a few weeks earlier, on a particularly boring day at the Xhorhaus. Caleb had been out with Beau and Fjord, in another attempt to get Professor Waccoh to allow them into the library. It must have been attempt thirteen; another disappointing conversation. But even with that disappointment, all three of them had been unforeseeably lucky that they hadn’t been home. 

Jester had convinced everyone to sit down and have a strange version of a tea party, which sounds like a normal affair, except that she had sneakily added something to each cup. It was impressive that she had managed to taint each cup of tea without Caduceus even catching her, a mystery within itself. She took the time to lace the cups with an insurmountable amount of pepper. Apparently there had been a lot of crying, lots of screaming, Nott may have gotten sick. But that had only been the start.

Nott had retaliated, as one does when scorned, and the prank war had begun, and the rest of the Mighty Nein were lucky if they weren’t caught in the crosshairs. 

As they passed through the training room, he nodded toward Beauregard who was mid crunch. She paused to salute him back, not missing a beat before she returned to her workout. He almost wanted to mouth, _help_ , to Beauregard but he had a strong suspicion she would only ignore him. Still, he allowed Jester to lead him, blindly following her until they walked up the spiral stone staircase and began down the hallway toward Nott’s room. 

“Where is Nott now?”

“Out,” she replied, a skip in her step as she threw open the war room door. She waited for him in the doorway, and he felt a surge of nervousness now. Following her whims was a temptation he couldn’t resist but… would he be filled with regret by the end of this?

She gently closed the door behind him, and leaned in close to whisper. “Can you put an alarm on this door so we know when Nott is coming?”

“Ja.” He pats his pockets looking for his wire then pauses. “Why are we whispering?”

“It adds to the sneakiness, Caleb.”

“Ah.”

He doesn’t question it. He begins to spin the wire against the bottom of the door, a task he was used to—though it felt odd to have the alarm set to ring if Nott were to pass through. He stared at the wire absentmindedly, which was too long for Jester who began to tap on his shoulder.

“C’mon, we don’t have a lot of time!”

He sighed inwardly and moved once again to follow her. She swung the door open to their happy room, and ignored the clutter and went straight for a bag on the couch.

“I learned something new yesterday, Caleb.” She cheerfully pulls the bag into her arms, before giving him a mischievous smile. “My haversack can hold thirty five Rosohna dolls.”

“Oh. Oh dear.”

She continues, “And the shop I found gave me like the best discount for purchasing in bulk too!”

It made sense now—why Nott had come to him two days ago to complain she kept finding creepy dolls in weird places, always aimed toward her, as if they were watching. There would be one outside her door every morning, or outside the washroom, and even when her back was turned, suddenly one would be there. And every time Nott would shriek every time.

Really, he had to admire Jester’s dedication.

They entered Nott and Yeza’s room together, and immediately went to cover their noses. 

“Gods, what is that smell?”

“Rotten food,” he notes, already on his knees to look beneath the bed, following the scent. Old fruits, rotten meals, and stockpiled dirty plates had been shoved under the bed. Caleb let out a breathy laugh. Jester kneels beside him, wiggling closer to him to see the catastrophe herself.

“Oh, Nott…” She reaches forward to poke a tentative finger at a deflating melon. “I mean, it’s kind of romantic when you think about it.”

He snorts, turning his head. Jester looks at the mess wistfully. “Romantic?”

“Yeah! I mean she makes a mess, and like Yeza still loves her anyway! He just lets Nott be….Nott, y’know? It’s kind of sweet.” She bumps his shoulder. “Take notes, Caleb. If you want to woo someone, you gotta love them through all their shit and nasty habits!”

He froze beside her, heat rising to his face and he knew he looked like a fool, with his mouth hanging open. She knew exactly what she was doing—she had to, so he tried his hardest to compose himself.

With her endless energy, she was already up again and helping him up with ease, dropping her haversack on the bed, and pulling out the dolls that had been haunting Nott. Soon enough, the bedsheets were covered with these porcelain dolls that Jester had altered with cracked skin, missing eyes, fake blood stains. He knew the Traveler must be so proud.

“You have put a lot of effort into this.”

“You have to put effort into everything you do, Caleb!” She gives him a wayward smile. “Even pranks!”

She enlisted his help to place some dolls in the higher spots that she couldn’t reach in the bedroom. He placed some sort of fiendish looking doll on a high shelf between a few books, angling it towards the bed. Even he didn’t like to look too long in its eyes. 

“How did you manage to get Nott out of the house?” He wonders aloud, a bit surprised that Nott herself hadn’t set a trap in the room. 

“I just told Yeza I wanted a love potion and sent him to the alchemy shop, and of course he was going to take Nott. Maybe they’ll even buy a little something for themselves!”

He quirked a brow. “A love potion?”

“They exist, Caleb!” She insists.

“Ja, but why would _you_ need such a thing?”

She went quiet as she aligned the dolls on the bed, then moving toward the nightstand and the dresser, so there would be hollow eyes staring Nott down no matter where she turned.

“For pranks,” she said softly, her eyes never meeting his. He wasn’t convinced.

He wouldn’t push it, even if he felt that slow ache in his chest when he looked upon her as she tried to fight a frown. She remained focused solely on her task, but he could only look at her. With her tongue between her teeth and brows furrowed, he still thought she couldn’t look more enchanting if she tried. He wanted to hold her, just for a second, so that he could tell her that she didn’t need a potion to make someone love her—someone already did.

“Hm. I feel like we need more dolls.”

“You definitely do not.”

Ding. 

His eyes widened and he moved without thinking, his hand around Jester’s wrist and tugging her out the bedroom door, closing it behind him. They had five seconds at most to hide their transgressions. 

Oh, why had he agreed to this? Why was he so weak to this masterful, little tiefling? Nott would see that he had helped orchestrate this and then he inevitably would find himself in the middle.

“She’s coming,” he warned as quietly as he could as he glanced around the mess that was their happy room, and seeing not even one spot to hide. “We’ve got to—”

Jester’s hand had found the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards her, and as suddenly as Nott opened the door, Jester had pulled Caleb into an open-mouthed kiss. She pressed him against the door of the bedroom; she’d curled one hand in his shirt and another in his hair, the kiss overpowering any sense he had left in his head.

His body moved faster than his mind, unable to keep up with her wild touch and the heat of her mouth. The blood was pounding in his ears as he tried to navigate this feeling again, the sweet taste of her just intoxicating enough that a breathless moan escaped him. 

There was a sharp intake—Yeza—Caleb could picture the halfling's mouth open in shock. Then came Nott’s, “Oh my gods!”

Jester managed to pull away from Caleb’s mouth, but only just barely to turn her head with hooded eyes. “Nott, can you give us some privacy please.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Nott squeaked, and Caleb could see out of the corner of his eye Nott give them a thumbs up before shutting the door behind her. From the other side of the door she shouted, “Be safe!” 

Caleb almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he pulled away from Jester’s grasp, his face on fire and his tongue—gods he could still taste her. The only relief was that the girl across from him was flushing a light lavender as well, her eyes glistening as she ran her thumb across her lower lip.

“Sorry, Caleb, I-I read that in one of my books! I’m sorry.”

“N-no! I-It’s fine!” He manages, trying to catch his breath, making sure that he was completely across the room for her. The distance would help his hammering heart.

“I just didn’t want to get caught! A-And it was the first thing that came to mind!” She was pressing her own palms to her flaming cheeks and he thought that maybe both of them would die here of embarrassment together.

“You don’t need to explain.”

It was difficult to think or to move, and the world felt like it was turning upside down. All he was going to dream about were those cool lips that moved against his, the light taste of cinnamon, the rake of her nails against his head. Now that he had felt that, how was he supposed to function normally around her. He gave a low groan and hung his head.

He could not find it in him to move, but she didn’t seem to be having that same dilemma. She’d actually moved closer and closer until she was only a few feet away, close enough to touch. The blush still on her cheeks as she reached up to gently let her fingers run along his cheek and he met those vibrant amethyst eyes. 

“Don’t regret it though, okay? I don’t.”

He found himself smiling, wanting to lean into her touch.

“I won’t.” He meant it.

She was smiling again—as brightly as ever—and she thanked him for helping her, letting him know that it was infinitely more fun when he was involved. She may have even implied she may enlist his help again. He might have agreed to something accidentally, because she had been ecstatic enough to kiss him on the cheek, thanking him again. His mind had halted to a stop again at her touch.

It felt strange now, to return to his room, keeping his head down when he passed Nott to avoid any questions about what she’d seen. How was he going to focus on his notes when he knew there was a sweet little, blue tiefling bouncing around the house—full of energy and affection—and they’d kissed. 

This—It was nothing like the faked heart attack. Her lips had been light then and all he’d felt was air. She had barely blinked in his direction afterwards, even though he had been red all the way down to his sternum. When she kissed him now, it had been full of fire and hunger, and she’d come out of it just as dazed as him. 

He would go to bed thinking of her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt was somehow the hardest? Probably because it's one of my favorite tropes. Anyways, Caleb and Jester please kiss, like, all the time.


End file.
